It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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