Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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