I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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