porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
