Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
