Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
