i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
