i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
