His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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