Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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