I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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