Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
