i will never coherently bang her
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
