as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
