When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Randomize
