she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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