yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
