so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize