I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
