her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
