The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
