just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
