I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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