All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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