oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She told me I should be a condom model.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
