I think my fart just growled at me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
