question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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