I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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