doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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