i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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