I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
