She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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