I bet he comes in French.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
