We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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