One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
