I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
