I'm lost and stupid without you.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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