Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
