You can't special order awesome
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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