and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
