Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
