Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
