is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
