I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
