My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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