I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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