The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
