True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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