I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
