Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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