I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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