yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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