cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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