i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
