God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize