I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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