and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
