Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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