Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
