Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
