how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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