is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
