Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
