..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
