is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
