You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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