Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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