And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
