Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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