I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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