I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize