I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
