So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
