Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
