I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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