Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
