she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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