Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have post one night stand depression
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
