remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
