Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
