If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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