The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
