WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
