First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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