Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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