I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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