Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
