I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
