Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
