Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
