I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize