I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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