Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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